Monday, August 29, 2011

Deus Ex Human Revolution Review Summary

Third offering in the Deus Ex series, available for Ps3 and xbox360. Deus Ex Human Revolution is a cyberpunk inspired game, with events taking place during the year 2027, 25 years before the original Deus Ex.  While many reviewers praised the open-ended nature of the game and the weight of conversations, criticisms were leveled at shortcomings such as ammo quantities, long loading times, and the inclusion of boss fights. Scoring an impressive 88% xbox 360 and 89% Ps3 respectively on Metacritic.  Heed the in-game advice, the direct route is not the only option open to you

"'s in the gameplay that Deus Ex really shines, giving you absolute freedom over how you play"
James Sterling: Games from the Void

Reviews Summary:
Games don't get much better than this
May work better as art than it does as a game
Stands as a worthy successor in the series
Intelligent, fun, challenging and beautifully realized
Problematic gunplay and annoying stealth takedown mechanics
Human Revolution stands proudly alongside the best in cyberpunk fiction
It's a visionary, considered piece of work
Puts almost everything else in the genre to shame

Deus Ex Human Revolution Offical Website
Adam Jensen Wallpaper
Deus Ex Human Revolution Wiki

Sunday, August 28, 2011

El Shaddai Ascension of the Metatron Forum Avatars

right click, view image, for 400x73
click image for 550x100

Hand sculpted by Alf and Ripper, with inspiration from the leprechaun.  Straight from the workshop of the elderly gamer.

El Shaddai Ascension Wallpaper

Alf the helper: So does that mean I can get paid now!
Elderly: Does it say Alf the employee yet?
Alf the helper: :(
Elderly: Exactly! now see if you can do something with that title.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Mass Effect 2 Walkthrough Guides

March 2012 and the release of Mass effect 3 is a long way away I admit.   But having spent some blissful hours replaying my favourite femshep through the reduced priced dlc on xbox live, a peek was in order to see what I might have missed had I pressed that paragon button a little more often.

Download Content
If your as baffled as me by the rating system for download content on xbox live, a brief review of the  metacritc scores for each downloadable episode.

Lair of the Shadow Broker 87%
Overlord 86%
Kasumi 71%
Arrival 65%
Pinnacle Station 48%

So without further ado, for all two of you reading this
Mass Effect Walkthrough the best
DLC and main game guides, from Gamefaq
Photo guide, loyalty quest and assignments 1up 
Character import guide, Insanity tips gamebomb
Wiki for character bios, weapon stats, and everything else

Alf the helper: I've been through these and not one of them tells me what's with the toilet flushing?
Elderly: Wait you spent the last 2 hours looking for information on the toilet flusing
Alf the helper: erm... yep!
Elderly: Alf Alf Alf... :(
Alf the helper: Well it's important, people need to know, I mean why build a separate room...and then  there's the trash compactor I mean they must ..... mr.Elderly...? Elderly? wher'd he go?

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Kris Kuksi Laptop and iPhone skins

Officially Licensed
from the peerless post-industrial Rococo master Kris Kuksi

Available From Entertainment Earth:

GelaSkins Kuksi Deadly Sins Laptop Skin (13-Inch)

GelaSkins Kuksi Deadly Sins Laptop Skin (15-Inch)

GelaSkins Kuksi Deadly Sins iPhone Skin

GelaSkins are removable covers for protecting and customizing your portable devices. They feature stunning, photo-quality graphics ranging from fine-art prints to contemporary urban images designed by a growing family of artists from around the globe.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

El Shaddai Ascension of the Metatron Wallpaper

Right click image open in new window/tab for 1024x768

Obsessed!,  Me?
no merely killing time waiting for the EU release.... :(

El Shaddai Forum Avatars

see all "game wallpaper posts"

Official Website with tons more

Xenoblade Chronicles (Wii) Reviews Summary

Sporting a luscious 91% on metacritic

Release dates: Eu, Jpn out now
Australia: September 1st

Way back in June 2010, Xenoblade Chronicles debuted at #1 in its week of release in Japan, selling 83,000 copies. Puzzling then to read that not alone did Nintendo not anticipate the demand for the game in Eu, with numerous retailers already reporting stock shortages less than a week after it's release. But a date is still to be confirmed for the the US. 

Xenoblade Chronicles is a jrpg in which you play an orphaned young hero who...

Alf the helper: tissue mr.Elderly
Elderly: No thanks Alf.. i'll... struggle on thanks... sniff!

..who is the only one capable of saving the world from a mysterious evil.  With equal parts fighting and exploration, yes there is an ultimate weapon and an untold power, along with some 50 hours of story play.

Japanese magazine Famitsu awarded the game 9/9/9/9 in its review, totaling 36/40 90%

Quote of the bunch: "sterling soundtrack, a phenomenal visual impact, vast amount of customisation, intriguing story and massive value for money" Cubed3

Reviews Summary
Its numerous qualities make it a must-have for all JRPG fans
Beautiful, feature-packed and brimming with creative remedies for the ails of a stagnating genre,
Xenoblade Chronicles reignites the JRPG and adventure genres in one classy swoop
   technical limitations are offset by imaginative artistic direction,
Innovative and compelling combat, and thoughtful design
Best suited to gamers with the strength, diligence and passion to see it through

Offical Eu Website

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Best Walkthroughs El Shaddai Ascension of the Metatron

Dodged all the popups, ducked all the malware, to bring the following delectable selection of Guides and Walkthrough Videos for all 11 chapters plus prologue, .... just in case your stuck

Complete the game on Easy or Normal to unlock the following:
Hard Mode
Extra Mode
Gallery Mode
Gauge Display
Costume Select

Dark Enoch:  Achieve an 'A' or higher on Chapter 08.
Old Armor A:  Complete the game on Easy or Normal.
Old Armor B:  Complete the game on Easy or Normal.
Rider:   Achieve an 'A' or higher on Chapter 06.
Special:  Collect the six Ishtar Bone Fragments.(no damage but also negates the score you get for fighting and collecting items through a stage).

Get all Ishtar bone fragments from Rastal66
El Shaddai Achievements_trophy list
IGN Walkthrough
Strategy and Walthrough from mycheats at 1up
Video guides from

El Shaddai Ascension of the Metatron Wallpaper
El Shaddai Forum Avatars

Alf the Helper: So we're getting it then :)
Elderly: We'll see...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Screenshots Flood: Lollipop Chainsaw, Soulcalibur V, Farcry 3

Lollipop Chainsaw Screens  & Offcial Website Portal
Release date TBC 2012

Soulcalibur V characters & Official Website Portal
Release date March 2012

Farcry 3 screens & Official Website
Release date February 2012

This was much easier on Facebook, sigh!

Reviews Summary El Shaddai Ascension of the Metatron (360, ps3)

Out in Japan and the US, due Europe: September 9th
My hopes were high for this, 3 years of hard work from a development team led by Sawaki Takeyasu (Devil May Cry) and Masato Kimura (Okami) :p the vids look passable :) and I was eager for something fresh :P But a scarcity of reviews prior to the US release date (always a bad sign), and a hint on twitter from  JamesSterling suggesting a less than stellar offering, cast a dark shadow on my expectations. But fear not!

Update: The Walkthrough and Guides are in :)

Japanese reviews: A 34/40 (85%) in Japan's Famitsu magazine, user reviews had been less kind (78%).

With a curent score of  78% Xbox 360 and  79% Ps3 on Metacritc
Suggests a rental first,.though the replay value is low... decisions decisions

If you trust your magazine reviews
9 out of 10 Game Informer

9 out of 10 Playstation the official Magazine
A+- Sci Fi Magazine

IGN blasted it: "In the end, El Shaddai attempts to do too much, and much of what it does it doesn't do well". 50

But those without the caffeine suggested:
A rare treat of a game and a celebration of video games as an art form.
An unconventional game and an entertaining adventure despite some of the creative gaps
I like it as an art piece and I dislike it as a game.
Leaves you smitten and awestruck,
Achieves what precious few can manage, aesthetic sophistication and a great game.
This game is definitely worth checking out for people seeking something new

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Game Code to Film Costumes an insight

Game adaptations of films have always given me goosebumps. Film studio's and their blood rush to maximise a film's franchise earnings, have contributed to a growing catalogue of unplayable and abysmal offerings.

A quick googly search for some recent offerings, shows that unfortunately the trend is set to continue. You'd think some accountant would notice flop after infamous flop, but apparently there is still some money to be made in rushing a title to market to coincide with a film's release.

So I sat back and smiled smugly to myself, secure in the knowledge my filmgamedar and goosebumps will protect me well into the future. But the smile quickly vanished as I noticed a copy of Doom in my dvd collection.

Several minutes later, and out of breath I scanned my hastily scribbled list of game to film adaptations in my dvd collection. And for the last hour have searched and searched for an excuse as to why my Bloodrayne (yes both of them) dvds are nestled next to my much cherished copy of Blade Runner, and despairing that a copy of the straight to dvd release of Dead Or Alive, is rubbing shoulders with my copy of Downfall.....

So the images above an apology of sorts and the dawning of some insight as to why I'm a complete sucker for game to film releases..... :(

From top to erm...bottom
  • Angelina Jolie in her role as Lara Croft, Tomb Raider 2001
  • Sienna Guillory as Jill Valentine in 2004 Resident evil Apolcalypse
  • Eri Otoguro Onechanbara 2008

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Game Tattoos #8

A far more earnest and permanent investment than indelible ink or fanart ..... game tattoo gems from the wumbernet. There be Sora from Kingdom Hearts, Mario, and Vault Boy from the Fallout series.

Images from:

See all "Tattoo" posts

Alf the Helper: Elderly, theres some tattoo removal ads below this post
Elderly: oh just brilliant! mind these, I'm off to speak to blogger admin...

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Mass Effect 3 Femshep Forum Avatars

Straight from the elderly workshops, and still smarting from the blonde femshep poll landslide on facebook,  Mass effect 3 forum avatars for your delectation.
right click, view image, for 400x73
click image for 550x100 (which fixes the last avatar's logo spacing)

Friday, August 12, 2011

First Look Rise of Nightmares Xbox 360 Kinect

Okay first off an admission....I don't have Kinnect! and up until now the only thought I ever gave the peripheral was, where would I put one?  Entrenched as I was with my less than passing regard for this piece of wizardry I was certain that unless ordered by my doctor to exercise more often, then Kinnect and it's family friendly titles would never grace the doors of my shack.

Until that is, I read the following......

"At one point I was bludgeoning some zombie or other with a scooped-out chest cavity and a Rod Stewart haircut." Christian Donlon Eurogamer

Rise of Nightmares is a survival horror fps developed and published by Sega.
pegged for release September 2011.

Kidnapped in Eastern Europe (saving you plently of rendition time) you must survive the night in a mad scientist's (Viktor) castle that unfortunately seems to hold a number of less than friendly undead inhabitants.

Red Band Trailer on Youtube (sign in, sign up verification),
or  for any mammal with fleshy digits, age verification entry to the Official Sega Website

Alf the helper: So where's the video then?

Elderly: It's too graphic to show here..

Alf the helper: That bad huh? you could do with a leprechaun then?

Elderly: No!

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Catherine Walkthrough Xbox 360 Ps3

Still no official release date for Europe,  although the hut have it tagged for 9th December? even steadfast Eurogamer were forced to review an import copy.

Infuriating, vexing! shakes walking frame at Atlus execs...

But my enthusiasm for this weird, whacky and wonderful departure from the norm, albeit terrifying in it's difficulty (I'm reliably informed...) has not been diminshed.  So bemoaning my place of birth, I ventured into the realm of spoilers, tips, walkthroughs and cheats and discovered realms of building blocks, enigma coins, a hidden Rapunzel mode, the Stray Sheep bar, all too much to take.

Fortunately I saved the highlights of my ill advised ramblings to bring you the cream of the crop.  Hopefully by the time the game arrives, I'll have forgotten what I've read.

mycheats at 1up:  text and video walkthrough
Gamespot: Super Easy Mode and the Rapunzel unlock
Videogamesblogger: Video Walkthroughs
Gamefront Vid and text guide
Rapunzel Stages Guide
Catherine Reviews Summary

Monday, August 08, 2011

Kurnik online

For those of us suffering mild overdoses of high resolution graphics and jaw dropping eyecandy, a respite from the onslaught. Kurnik (aka PlayOK) is a free to play online games website featuring classic board and card games.

Tired of facing the screaming hoards on Playstation Network or Xboxlive, then settle down to a friendly game of checkers, ludo, mahjong, perhaps even a racy hand of gin rummy, against a (hopefully) live opponent. Feel like running in the face of copyright infringements, then try Kurnik's version of Scrabble (Literaxx,Literaki)and Monopoly (Blogpoly,Netopol).

Originally a Poish only website, founded in 2001 by Marek Futrega, Furnik now supports over 30 classic games, is available in 34 languages including Japanese, Chinese and Greek and has a current ranking at 10,085th on Alexa. A simple sign up process lies between you and an evening of relaxation.


Saturday, August 06, 2011

Trailer for Tales of Xillia Ps3

13th mothership title in the Tales series, from Namco Tales Studio for PS3 and set for release in Japan on September 8th 2011. As of yet, no Western release dates confirmed.

Alf the Helper: let me see there was Tales of.....Phantasia, Destiny, Eternia, Destiny 2, Symphonia, Rebirth, Legendia, Abyss, Innocence, Vesperia, Heartand, and erm... oh yes of course, Tales of Graces.

Elderly: Welcome back! ....

Alf the Helper: thanks... :)

In a break from tradition, the game features a new "behind the back" viewpoint with two playable characters, Jude Mathis and Milla Maxwell. Both characters live in the world of Liese Maxia, where humans, spirits and demons are able to reside together in harmony.

Players will choose one character at the begining of the game and experience events from that character's perspective.

Alf the Helper: The game's battle system  "Double Raid Linear Motion Battle System" or DR-LMBS, focuses on two-chara...

(Elderly releases the trapdoor underneath Alf's chair)

Elderly: Ooops....!

Official Japanese website (with abysmal wallpaper)

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Review Catherine Ps3, Xbox 360

A horror, puzzle-platformer, adventure game, with mature themes, both sexual and religious, developed and published by Atlus for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360

"Atlus' willingness to create and publish something as unique as this is truly commendable" 
quote from 1up review

Players control a man named Vincent who, after meeting a strange girl named Catherine and cheating on his girlfriend, begins having strange nightmares, during which he fears he might be killed.  Scoring a commendable 80% Ps3 and 83% xbox 360 on

Game Trivia:
Kadokawa Games published a novel based on the game on May 20, 2011
In response to players' complaint on the game difficulty, Atlus released a patch with a new difficulty mode called Super Easy mode for the PS3 and xbox 360  in March 2011

Reviews Summary:
Shallow characters, and monotonous puzzles
Not an rpg, the difficulty is going to alienate a very large amount of people.  
Like a relationship that's going nowhere, Catherine has a few bright spots that will make you want to hold on
An intriguing affair that makes you question the type of person you truly are
Unusual, startlingly innovative and engaging, nuanced storytelling
Arcade-style gameplay with one of the most engaging, emotional narratives seen in a videogame

Catherine Official Website

Bargain Bin: Uncharted Drake's Fortune Ps3 2007

A combination of 3D platforming and third-person shooter, developed by Naughty Dog.
Released November 16th 2007, North America

A 400-year-old clue in the coffin of Sir Francis Drake sets a modern-day fortune hunter on an exploration for the fabled treasure of El Dorado, leading to the discovery of a forgotten island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.  
Scoring 88% from both users and critics on

Game Trivia:  
Game designer Tim Schafer,  the creator of early Lucas Arts adventure games such as The Secret of Monkey Island,  lauded the game, saying he "liked it a lot"..... ?
In July 2011 it was reported that Neil Burger, director of Limitless would direct a film adaption.

Reviews Summary:
Combining key elements that every gamer holds dear in a game that looks and feels like a blockbuster film.
Some slightly uneven gameplay, a fairly standard adventure game at its core
Attention to detail, mind-blowing visuals, fantastic combat, immense climbing puzzles and a brilliant storyline
Gameplay comes up short, turning key moments in its 8-to-10-hour run time into frustrating, repetitive slogs
The only set back?  the game length
It's involving in it's narrative, a triumph of pacing, and simply a pleasure to play

Uncharted series wiki
Uncharted Walkthrough
Uncharted 2 Amongst Thieves
Uncharted 3 Drake's Deception

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Will we outlive our Consoles?

With a 29 year old Zx Spectrum still doing the rounds?
Thirty years from now, I can imagine a market for the xbox 360 and Ps3, but not so sure I'll still be teetering on the edges of oblivion.

And if that dosen't jar you awake, take a peek at which rare factory sealed game is fetching $500,only on Retro Treasures.

Monday, August 01, 2011

Metro Last Light First Look

Sequel to the critically acclaimed debut title from Ukranian based 4A Games and author, Dmitry Glukhovsky, Metro 2033, due March 2012 for xbox 350, ps3 and PC.  Metro last light picks up after the "bad" ending from Metro 2033, in which Artyom delivers a devastating attack on the mysterious supernatural race known as the Dark Ones.

Beneath the ruins of post-apocalyptic Moscow, mutants stalk the catacombs.  The station-cities of the Metro are locked in a struggle for the ultimate power, and you hold the key to survival of the human race – "the last light in our darkest hour"

Alf the helper: Apparently mr.Elderly, Metro 2033 had many PC gamers updating their graphics card to cope with the full spec required, and Metro Last Light will be no different, though the 4a wizards are optimising code to run on lower spec machines.

Elderly: Really?, and I suppose you have a reference for that piece of information.

Alf the helper: yes.... Here

Elderly: hmmph!

Metro Last Light website
Metro Last Light trailers