Friday, September 16, 2011

Adam Jensen Forum Avatar






right click, view image, for 400x73, click image for 550x100 

Well as you can imagine in these days of  financial uncertainty, the forum avatar business isn't doing very well, thankfully I've got some cheap labour to offset the high production costs and maintain my pre-recessionary profits, take it away Alf...

You may also like:
Adam Jensen Wallpaper

Alf the helper: Mr.elderly? sorry to bother you, but any chance of restoring Sunday food rations ?
Elderly: Let's see how quickly these beauties go first
Alf the helper: But mr.elderly you promised that once th....
Elderly: Yes yes, I'll speak to the accountant
Alf the helper: Thank you mr.elderly
Elderly: Alf before you rustle up the next batch, could you find a final resting place for Sheamus
Alf the helper: The leprechaun?
Elderly: No Sheamus the marsupial! ...of course the leprechaun!! he's been hanging round here long enough, and it's just a little freaky seeing his posts in my top 5 when his corpse is lying in my sitting room.
Alf the helper: Okay mr.elderly :(
(Alf drags the leprechaun's body down to the cellar)


46 comments:

gnome said...

Not the cellar please. I am busy there. Come Frida, I'll give you a Jensen avatar.

The Elderly said...

Alf!!! move the leprechaun, Gnome is on his way down...

..that came out wrong :(

Blog Narrator said...

Alf lifts the leprechaun on his shoulders and heads to the power generator. In the distance he can hear the approach of a lighning storm.

Little does he know the gods of destiny will soon change his life and the destiny of the Elderly Gamer for ever.......

gnome said...

Uhm. excuse me narrator dear, could I have the brief version please. Frida you see is all tied up and waiting and I wouldn't want her waiting for she is German, and Germans don't like waiting (nor paying up).

The Elderly said...

8(

(takes out prepared script..faces the audience)

We'd like to apologise to all our German viewers who were offe..... intollerant or racist....any depiction of financial impropriety... challenged individual... get to know him....we hope that such donation to the German blog viewer association.. this unfortunat matter...Thank you!

(turns to look at Gnome, reads narrators comments...)

I leave for less than 24hrs and look what happens...

AlFFFFF! prepare the cellar for Gnome and Frida, make sure the wine flows smoothly...

Narrator what are you doing to me?

Blog Narrator said...

Don't look at me like that!! As Blog Narrator I have the right to use artistic licence when it's required,

If you weren't so flahooluc with this place perhaps you'd have noticed that the signs before I had to say something

Gnome there is no short version, what will come to pass, will come to pass....

....and to think I could be working for Alexa as a search commentator!!! sigh!

The Elderly said...

What signs? what will come to pass?
have you been drinking again?

Hey where'd he go?

Alf!!!!

gnome said...

(watches the plot unfold; is definitely mesmerized; can't wait to be transferred to the cellar)

Oh, and I was indeed referring to the CDU voters of course.

The Elderly said...

:( oh crap...

(drops hot coffee....searches for CDU script)

We would like to apoligise...East Germany...political persuasion..

? ...oops wrong script,

(throws old East German CDU script in trashbin, finds current version)

..right where were we.. yes
On behalf of the all God fearing Germans everywhere.... how could a Gnome possibly...views expressed...Ratchet and Clunk solicitors...thank you!

(eyes Gnome and Blog Narrator carefully...)

Alright speak up one of ye, I know ye two are planning something, well I'm not going to fall for it... what's with all the theatrics then?

Blog Narrator said...

..All I can say is, a change is going to come, like a cold wind blowing through the erm... darkness of space....yes siree a change is gonna come!!!

The Elderly said...

What change, what wind, explain yourself...

Allllfff!!! Gnome hasn't got his wine yet and Frida is not going to wait til she draws her pension

Sorry bout this Gnome...:(

(heads off to find Alf...)

gnome said...

I'm frankly and very deeply confused. Some wine and Frida would be very much appreciated...

Now, what was I scheming?

The Elderly said...

..(renters dragging Alf by the hair....)

...as was I dear Gnome, but apparently Alf went and misplaced the leprechaun.... or more precisely the leprechaun's body has gone missing...

8( Fridaaaa!!!! you don't thnk!!!

gnome said...

Nah...

I'll go look for the leprechaun.

(wears fedora)

The Elderly said...

:) hey like the Fedora, very ..erm exotc...

(rearming his +8 bolt gun, elderly heads off to make a cup of tea..)

gnome said...

>FOLLOW ELDERLY

The Elderly said...

?

(waiting for the kettle to boil, elderly heads for the toilet...)

gnome said...

>UNFOLLOW ELDERLY

>WATCH KETTLE

The Elderly said...

..(takes out notebook entitled "Gnomes", jots down "how to get gnomes to stop following you!, closes notebook..returns to Gnome..)

..you know what they say a watched kettle never boils...

(several hours later....)

maybe we should switch it on?

gnome said...

Aha!

And lol. We silly we. Or is it us silly us. Or, well, I'll switch it on and then we watch it boil. Hopefully.

The Elderly said...

:) I'm with you on this one.... I love it when we work together to solve problems like this....

..(folds arms and waits for kettle to boil....)

gnome said...

Exciting times indeed!

The Elderly said...

(checks watch... looks at Gnome..)

...beats playing them boring old video games any day.. yesirreee..

(whistles...)

gnome said...

(whistles and smiles and subtly changes the subject)

New teeth?

The Elderly said...

:) no I just left them a little longer in the denture mix..the used some gloss white paint.. effective.. though they taste a little funny..

(whistles....stares at kettle)

...erm...

wanna play rock paper scissors?

gnome said...

YES!

Here goes...

(rock)

The Elderly said...

(rock)...

darn, okay 1,2,3....

(paper)

gnome said...

Drats!

The Elderly said...

(kettle begins to bubble slightly)

right two draws, best of five..

(scissors...)

gnome said...

(paper)

Hehehe!

Oh...

The Elderly said...

...phew, that was close... still 2 games left, you still have a chance..

right let's see

two draws, Elderly 1 Gnome 0

(stares at barely bubbling kettle..)

think we should order in some coffee while we're waiting..?

gnome said...

Yes please. And cookies. And maybe play something else. Say, how about Stratego?

The Elderly said...

Stratego.. just gotta hone up on some of the rules.... You set up the board and please bear with me a little while...

(..several hours later)

..okay I've ordered the cookies and coffee, honed up on the Stratego rules...

(kettle picks up a pace, however only little wisps of steam are blowing throught the spout..)

..sigh! bloody imports..

(ciffee and cookies arrive and the pair settle down for the evening...)

gnome said...

Why, that's what I call hospitality.

(takes of shoes, wears slippers)

(also, has a cookie)

(looks curiously and intently at Stratego board)

Where do the batteries go, pray remind me...

The Elderly said...

this is one of the earlier models, no batteries

(picks up piece extends arm, places piece on further along board towards Gnome's army...)

see.... :)

think pre interactive fiction circe 1945, your huddled in the lantern's glow, no tv, no radio and

(takes last cookie...)

no food... :)

(kettle begins to simmer....)

gnome said...

Ah, I 'member.

The era of the roaring ladies. Or was that twenties.

Anyway.

Let's try this non-digital version then...

The Elderly said...

kay :)

your turn...

(kettle begins to boil...)

gnome said...

But I have no access to steampunk devices...

The Elderly said...

;( Gnome concetrate it'll be days yet before the water reaches steam producing temperature...

(stares intently at the board, awaiting Gnomes next move...)

gnome said...

(eats a piece)

Tadah!

The Elderly said...

What the!!!

You can't do that!! , that's.. it's not...

(grabs rulebook...pours through subsections to discover transgression and penalty...)

:(

it dosen't say anything about eating pieces, but this can't be..

(grabs two of Gnomes pieces and shoves them in his mouth, begins to chew...)

Blog Narrator said...

..don't you even think of choking!!!

The Elderly said...

Gulp!...

:) hey!! Belgian chocolate!!

but Gnome how did you know?

(kettle start to boil...)

Tea?

gnome said...

Tea!

The Elderly said...

Tea it is... :D oh the wonders of electricity, just to think you can boil water remotely.... amazing..

gnome said...

:)