Sunday, January 28, 2007

UT3 Unreal Tournament 2007





from wikipedia
Unreal Tournament 3, codenamed Envy and formerly known as Unreal Tournament 2007, is part of the Unreal series of games and is the sequel to 2004's Unreal Tournament 2004. Using Unreal Engine 3, it is a first-person shooter video game designed mainly for multiplayer gaming, although the game has a built-in single-player mode that mimics multiplayer gaming by featuring bots with artificial intelligence. On January 25, 2007, Midway made an official announcement that the newly renamed game, Unreal Tournament 3, would be released for Windows, PlayStation 3, and Xbox 360. Currently, the game's official release date is unknown, though it is scheduled for release sometime in the second half of 2007. Vid from kzymeth via IGN.

screens from gamespot
video from IGN
UT3 Official Website
UT3 forums

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Porn for Leprechauns: Pointy Ears



Hello there! Seamus the Leprechaun here, guest blogger on the Unconscious Gamer. No not Tera Patrick as promised but something better.

Porn for Leprechauns.

Okay i hear you say, pointy ears, since when were pointy ears pornographic?. Well maybe for you humans it's not very erotic, but for us Leprechauns, this is as good as it gets. I'll explain.

Unlike elves and gnomes and other species, Leprechauns have suffered a raw deal in the evolutionary stakes, a series of retrograde steps if I may say so. In the begining, Leprechauns were an athletic and handsome species, possessing the most gorgeous sets of pointy ears. But nature decided to play silly buggers, gone are the slim and sculpted bodies of yore, replaced by beer bellies and double chins. Gone too and of great sadness to our species are those beautiful pointy ears.

So this Leprechaun plans to set the record straight, to reveal the sordid underbelly of evolution, to shame a mother nature that chose to play practical joker with our species. Global warming isn't payback enough, Porn for Leprechauns is the ultimate revenge.

So if your female, got pointy ears, take a photo, shove em on photobucket and leave a link in the comments box and before you can say earlobe they'll be gracing this excuse for a gaming blog.

Stay tuned for more Porn for Leprechauns in the coming months.

posted by the Leprechaun!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Who the @/><& is Segata Sanshiro?


Seamus the leprechaun here guest blah blah! on the sleeping gamer. Well like me you may never have heard about a person called Segata Sanshiro. Well seems the enigmatic gentleman is all the rage over on the Saturn Junkyard, worshipped as a idol he is, and damn nigh the inspiration for a brand new spiritual movement. Well being nosey I said I'd find out just who this inspirational figure is. (dons reporter outfit).

So I did.

Essentially Sanshiro is a Judo master that tracks down and punishes those who do not play the Sega Saturn. Sanshiro lives as a hermit high on a mountain, devoting his life to intensive Sega Saturn training and some say is a parody of Sugata SanshirĊ, a legendary judo fighter. He appears in two dozen commercials produced by SEGA to advertise the Sega Saturn in Japan between 1997 and 1998. Sanshiro is played by actor Fujioka Hiroshi, who is also a martial artist.

But this is not enough, not enough by far, to experience Sanshiro Segata, to really know the man you've got to watch the videos. Oh yes there are indeed videos, such inspiring videos I'm sure that like me it won't be long till you too are chanting:

Say gata san shirow
Say gata san shirow
Say gata san shirow
Say gata san shirow

Segata Sanshiro Shrine
Flash animation page of the fearless Segata

Horror Wallpaper











Hello Seamus the leprechaun here, guest blogger on the rickity gamer, not safe for work is normally my middle name, but unfortunately elderly has me on a short lead, quoting chapter and verse about nudity and blogger. So this is the best I can do till the old fella falls asleep.
hopefully for a very long time


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Thursday, January 25, 2007

Rogue Galaxy Review (Ps2)



Achieving critical success upon release in Japan December 2005, scoring a 36/40 in Famitsu and an 85 average in Dengeki, Japan's two most popular gaming magazines. Developers Level 5, makers of Dark Chronicle and Dragon Quest VIII, present a sci-fi themed RPG.

Jaster is a young man who dreams of exploring the galaxy. In a sudden turn of fate, he is mistaken for a renowned bounty hunter and recruited into a band of space pirates in a race to find a legendary planet that holds the key to the greatest treasures and eternal life. Clues to ‘Eden’ are scattered round the Galaxy - Jaster will go onto to explore many different worlds and face countless battles in search for these clues – but some treasures are best left undiscovered.

So how did the translation fare?

86% from 12 reviews on Metacritic.com, proving there's life in the old dog yet.

Reviews Summary
Rogue Galaxy is what every RPG should strive to be
Engaging and accessible story, an intuitive control scheme
The game isn't a masterpiece, amount of content is staggering, art direction is stunning
"Dragon Quest VIII," "Kingdom Hearts 2," Rogue tops them all.
Wondrous and sublime, a wealth of RPG riches
A developer working at the height of their powers
A yarn is only as good a s the characters knitting it, Level-5 has learned
At sixty hours of play I've got another sixty I could easily pour in
Probably and sadly the last great RPG that the fading PS2 will see

207 screenshots on IGN
Rogue Galaxy Official Website


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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

World of Warcraft Night Elf Cosplay




The night elves, or kaldorei, meaning "Children of the Stars" in their native tongue of Darnassian, have a long and fascinating history. Native to the western continent of Kalimdor, the night elves ended a long period of seclusion at the end of the Third War and became members of the Alliance. Night Elves were immortal until the destruction of the World Tree at the end of WarCraft III: Reign of Chaos.

Cosplayer Ziyi offical Blog (slow loading)
Night Elves on Wikipedia
more images on rendered beauty

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Wario Smooth Moves Review

(Tera Patrick full frontal shot removed...elderly)

Good evening, Seamus the Leprechaun here, guest blogger on the Decrepit Gamer, comin atcha from the bowels of Southern Ireland, where the weather is freezing my goolies off.

Well the old fella has let me loose on a review, so in a effort to give new life to the standard yawn inducing reviews we'll take a little rumage at what ye the players have had to say about the bloody game.

Well as if there was any doubt, scoring 83% from the readers reviews on Metacritic.com
the games the cat's pyjamas.

Readers Reviews Summary:

Terribly stupid and shallow gameplay mechanism. At least Wii Sports was free and had bowling but Warioware is just DISGUSTING! Score 1/10

I find no enjoyment whatsoever in this. It's painful to look at. How can I enjoy a game, regardless of the controls if I can't stand the graphics? Score 0/10

As you can see theres always some eejit willing to make a ...(censored -elderly) of themselves in public.

Gaf Comments:

So I took me a trip over to the Wario thread on GAF forums, where spOrsk said

"the game seems over, way before it should be........it just seems the game is missing the ambition of games like RT and Twisted."

Which frightened the crap out of a number of members till the following emerged

Peru..This game is magical. It's fantastic. It's the best wario ware game by far
Memles... I think it's a whole lot of fun, contains some moments of brilliant game design, but there just isn't enough here.
Alternative Ulster...Wow, this game is beyond amazing.
wasting....Its awesome, finally a reason to turn my wii on again
2D mention...I'm quite impressed
Phife Dawg...I'm having a great time with this. Beating the high scores is fun and multiplayer is a blast.

So dere you have it... straight from the horses mouth, not those namby pamby professional reviewers who wouldn't know a good game if it bit em in the ar.....(censored--elderly).

Right thats me done!. . . . . Oh yeah!!!

. . . . .theres a neat (I suppose) option over on the Nintendo site providing exclusive content. But to access it you'll have to stick your pin in..... (elderly----you actually have to enter a pin number contained in the special software insert included with the game)

posted by the leprechaun

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Monday, January 22, 2007

Rocky Balboa Review



"Rocky Balboa" is the next story (Rocky number six) in the saga of Philadelphia boxer Rocky Balboa. In the film, Rocky has long since retired but is drawn back to the boxing ring one last time. On the way he is challenged by a powerful new champion, by personal tragedy and ultimately by himself.

The movie is Sylvester Stallone's most successful starring role since 1994's The Specialist and has already outperformed the previous sequel, 1990's Rocky V. Ubisoft and MGM have announced that a new Rocky video game, titled Rocky Balboa, will be released exclusively for the PSP console on February 13th, 2007. see IGN

Scoring a favourable 63% from 33 reviews on Metacritic.com

And in case your were wondering, the original sequence (recreated in "Rocky Balboa"), where Rocky runs up the myriad of Steps before turning to salute the city, takes place on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

Movie Synopsis from movieweb.com
Rocky Balboa Official movie Website

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

God of War Threesome

Hello again, tis me Seamus, helping out on the gammy gamer. Well now a kind commenter be the name of Timerunner was just telling us about a possible threesome in that uber difficult and highly praised game God of War for the Ps2. Well it was news to me and a few other visitors, so armed with a very large magnifying glass (which makes things bigger) i decided to investigate this rumour. But as it's Saturday night and the pubs are set to close soon, i'll research the matter down my local, where no doubt after a few tankards people will be more inclined to reveal details on this gaming secret. See ya'll later

Seamus it might be a bad idea to post when your under the influence.......
Seamus! .....Seamus! ---elderly

(several hours later....)

hello this me again.... a ittle bit the worstest for wear.... Hic!

well a few people had heard about threesomes, but it appeared very few had a clue about the God of War threesome and to tell the truth I became too incoherent by the end of the evening to delve any further, I do remember getting my face slapped on a number of occassions, heres what i did discover:

Discovery 1: approaching a female and uttering the words "threesome" is not a very clever idea.

Discovery 2: At the begining of the second level, theres a sub game which is essentially an interactive threesome where you must follow a button matching game to help two naked women reach Clim. . . . (censored. . . elderly), thus giving you experience points that go toward ability upgrades.

Discovery 3: Closing time is a . . . .(Censored.... elderly)

Discovery 4: The game is definitely not for kids, the following list should make this transparent. . . speaking of transparent . . . . (Censored....elderly)

- Nudity
- Interactive sex
- A trip through Hades, with interactive torture
- Blood
- Dismemberment
- Violence against innocent bystanders

Discovery 5: Most of the women in the game are topless. Sirens. Medusa, the frozen-haired snake-lady. Topless or wearing see-through nighties and thongs. Athens, apparently, is like the opposite of a museum, only the female statues wear shirts.

Discovery 6: David Jaffe (games director) sited Heavy Metal Magazine as an inspiration "I love how they mix great fantasy epics with over-the-top sex and violence"

Discovery 7: A Chinese take away always tastes better when it's lukewarm

Discovery 9: On IGN boards
A poll to show opinions on whether there should there be nudity in God of War 2?

Total 79 votes.

20% (16 votes): Yeah there should be nudity again
31% (25 votes): Yes there should be even more!
2% (2 votes): No they should not put nudity in it again
45% (36 votes): I really dont care

......thanks to Xanthian for the correction

Discovery 10: An absolutely nothing to do with this subject link
Videogamebabes

posted by the leprechaun

Zzzzzz! Zzzzzzz!

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Full Auto 2 Battlelines (Ps3) Review

Abandoning the 360 in favour of the Ps3, Full Auto sees you attempt to take control of Staunton City by conquering the six different districts and taking control of opponent cars and weapons. Scoring 70% from 21 reviews on Metacritic.com

Reviews Summary
A significant improvement over its predecessor on the 360
Frames slow down just as the action heats up
Animation quality drops when there's too much action, one of the better early PS3 titles.
Almost every aspect of this car combat game's gameplay is messed up.
Fun ride well worth your money.
Much more polished than its predecessor, but the improvements are only skin deep
Lots of action and attitude and a great deal of replay value to look forward to

Official Website
Screenshots from Gamespot

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What are Twitch Games begorrah ?

Hello dere, and welcome to my first post on the doddery gamer. You may have asked yourself a thousand times what twitch games are. No?

Well I know I have... many a time i find myself asking myself "what are twitch games", so often in fact i said to myself "Seamus" says I "you must find out what twitch games are". And so I did.

Twitch games are video games in which the player must react quickly to circumstances, to continue playing and win the game. The kick in a twitch game is that gameplay is quick and the reward or loss immediate. Any time a player actively responds to a rapidly changing scenario within a game, the player is said to be "twitching".

So now I know and you know and the World is a happier place.

Posted by the leprechaun.

Great Job Seamus, just one point your posting on the elderly gamer, not the doddery gamer.

Begorrah, i didn't see that, i'll change it straight away

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Guest Bloggers, Gnomes and Leprechauns


With the current spate of Guest blogging, here, and here, it was time to change with the times, so without further ado May i introduce Seamus,

Hello

A leprechaun with a extreme interest in gaming. It appears alternative mythical creatures are not adverse to the gaming media see Gnomeslair, and Seamus promises me he is representative of such a phenomenon.

Aye!.. I am

So without further ado we'll let Seamus do what he does best, the next post "What are Twitch Games" will be Seamus' debut post. In addition Seamus will have free access to my posts, editing my content and hopefully adding extra value to my aging posts. May i wish him well.

Thanks Mr.Elderly

Heavy Weapons: Atomic Tank Review (Xbox Live Arcade )



800 Microsoft points Unleashes adrenaline-soaked side-scrolling shoot-'em-up arcade action, with a blast of retro eighties videogame chic. Scoring 79% from 9 reviews on Metacritic.com

Reviews Summary:
If you like twitch games, Heavy Weapon is an explosively explosively good time
Long lasting Mission mode, an unlockable Boss Blitz mode, satisfying Achievement Points, and smooth and addictive Live play, Heavy Weapon adds its name to the list of must-own Arcade titles.
Gameplay feels wonderful, even new in parts, the visuals bring a new flair to a classic style game
fun, action packed experience
Gets a bit too repetitive for its own good, a challenge even to twitch gamers
Brief, brainless fun without looking and feeling like a crusty old arcade game. It's easily one of the 360's best downloadable games yet.

Official Webpage

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

Drew Posada Fantasy Artist




Andrew "Drew" Posada was an American comic book colorist and pin-up artist. Best known as one of the pioneering digital colorists, working for several Image studios including Wildstorm, Top Cow, Avalon and others during the mid to late 1990s. He later left comic books to pursue a career as a pin-up artist. Sadly Drew Posada died from pancreatitis earlier this year aged 37.

Drew Posada bio on pinupfiles.com



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Game Wallpapers




see all "Wallpaper" posts on this site
"Game" Wallpaper on Rendered Beauty
"Online" Game Wallpaper on Just Walls
"PC" Wallpaper on Just Walls
"Ps2" Wallpaper on Just Walls
"Ps3" Wallpaper on Just Walls
"xbox" Wallpaper on Just Walls
"Xbox 360" Wallpaper on Just Walls

Wallpaper displayed culled from the bloodrayne, A3 and Land of Infinity sections of a most admirable collection of game wallpapers on Best Game Wallpapers

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The xbox 360 Towel Trick and the Yellow SNES


There are some evenings, when gamers despair.

Take this evening, having completed 97% of Enchant Arms only to find I've got to spend more than 5 hours in the tacked on, achingly dull, arcade hall sub game ( roulette, bingo) to earn enough cash to buy mega skill points to boost my Hit Points from 1,500 to 6,000 in order to finish the final boss battles.

If i'd wanted to gamble at roulette or bingo or blackjack with imaginary credits i'd have signed onto an online gambling site. Completely insane!

At times like that, articles on using a towel to cure your xbox 360's red light circle of doom or finding out the true reason behind your discoloured SNES, do help to ease the frustration of a moronic game ending.

Needless to say I won't be finishing enchant arms, but I will be keeping a towel handy just in case.

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